Thursday, October 13, 2016

Hillary Hat: Keep America Sick, Miserable, and Collapsing

by Red Square

This "side-by-side comparison" visual aid was inspired by a recent comment by Commissarka Pinkie.Allow me to quote:

My headscarf is usually red—the same color as baseball caps (which I’ve also seen in racist white) sporting the hateful logo M*** A****** G**** A****.

Most of you know that I’ve always had a “thing” for guys in red hats, and I’ve even taken the pledge to have sex only with Democrats. More and more frequently I find myself hitting on some really hot looking, red-hatted guys—a lot hotter and better smelling than any of the losers I’ve ever found around here—only to glimpse, almost too late, that hate speech on their red hats. It’s like finding out they’re marri—they’rega—they’re—they’re—oh, hell! Why do all the really hot looking, red-hatted, better smelling guys always have to be Trump supporters?

Likewise, I can’t even walk down the street anymore without my fellow progs calling me racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, xenophobic, Islamophobic, you name it*—even deplorable, irredeemable, and un-American—all because they see red on my head! They don’t even bother to check if there’s any hate speech embroidered on it. They see red and—well, they see red.

It’s gotten to the point where red on the head is a sign of white supremacy, and I may have to take up wearing a burqa. I can wear that in any color and no one will touch me—and don’t think I don’t know exactly what all of you thought just now!

*The Party needs to adopt something more concise yet all-encompassing to describe Trump and his lemmings—like “omniphobic.” Hatred of everyone and everything!

We feel your pain, Commissarka Pinkie! So we designed a blue hat to ease your pain - a complete opposite to the dreaded #MAGA. 

We hope it will help you and all social justice warriors like you, who are tortured by conspicuous compassion, awareness, and care, to survive the next 50 days before the election while also raising awareness about how much they care.

And the black-and-white version below can even make a great election poster, billboard, or a lawn sign, if anyone wants to invest in its production. WHAT HAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO WEAR TODAY?

Thank You Red Square and Commisarka Pinkie.

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