3:37 PM 09/22/2017
The Johnson & Johnson heiress Jazz Johnson Merton competed in a lame horse racing competition this month in the Hamptons and nobody cared.
At least nobody cared until 24 hours ago, when some good Samaritan leaked a video of the heiress competing, losing, and then KICKING her horse in the stomach. What a monster.
I mean, seriously. This goes way beyond just being a spoiled little brat. This should be considered a crime. This is Michael Vick status. She should either be locked away for years or forced to live in a barn for the rest of her life.
Not only is she the heiress to a billion dollar company, but she’s participating in a sport literally nobody cares about.
It’s punishment enough to make people sit through a horse show and actually pretend to care. But to then kick the horse that made a little mistake? Horrifying.
Maybe he was having a bad day. Or maybe he doesn’t want to participate in your lame, uncompetitive, stuffy rich person game. This poor horse probably grew up thinking he was going to be free to romp in the plains of Wyoming with all his buddies, but no. He’s being kicked in the belly by a dangling nostril hair of a human.
By the way, who even is Jazz Johnson Merton? Why haven’t we heard about this heiress to a Fortune 500 company? Even if she is a brat, we all knew about Paris Hilton and her lame little chihuahuas.
So I did a little investigating and found that Jazz Johnson Merton is actually one of the most repulsive human beings to ever inhabit the earth. She’s the author of “The Social Climber’s Bible” and a rabid “Downton Abbey” fan.
Here’s a sampling of her day-day:
[Ed; Jazz's tweeting advice for social climbing commandos.]
This isn’t some Kevin Durant burner account nonsense either. She’s actually purposefully tweeting this from her personal account. The woman doesn’t have a blue checkmark or a Wikipedia page and she’s acting like the Queen of England over here.
Maybe she’s salty that she’s a less successful, less attractive Ivanka (pics here and here). For a woman who makes her entire existence about social climbing, it doesn’t say much good about you that literally nobody knows/cares who you are.
Donate to a charity once for me. And set that horse free in Wyoming.
Thank You Ms Green and DC.
But then what did you expect? From the JNJ crowd?
"Scummier than Shkreli".
Al Yankovic. Paging Al Yankovic.