Trump Hacks Through Thick Central American Jungle In Search Of Entirely New Ethnic Group To Demonize
Meanwhile, living rent free inside the Democrats heads, . . . . The Onion 11/12/18 11:47am
TALAMANCAN MONTANE FORESTS, COSTA RICA—Venturing deep into rainforest no
outsider has dared explore, President Trump slashed through the thick
vines of a Central American jungle Monday in search of a previously
unknown ethnic group to vilify. “Legend has it that this land is home to
a lost race of people living in complete isolation, and if I can manage
to find them, I will be able to stereotype them in any way I choose,”
said the machete-wielding commander in chief who was wearing a tan field
jacket as he led a group of loyal Republican allies through the
oppressively hot and humid thicket in search of the mythic tribe. “This
discovery could change everything. These people remain entirely
untouched by any media coverage whatsoever, so I can easily stick them
with the blame for our nation’s drug problems, violent crime, stagnant
wage growth, you name it.” Upon sighting the uncontacted tribe, Trump’s
reelection team reportedly took grainy black-and-white videos of them
for immediate use in menacing campaign ads. Thank You The Onion.
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